不想长大
Dear diary:
My first weekend after going to middle school， full of sweetness and brightness。 I can hardly believe that I am a middle school student。 I still remember how I was looking forward to going to middle school when I was in grade 1。 Six years could be long， but it could be short too。 And now， standing here， I could hardly recognize myself。 Yes， I have changed a lot。 No longer the naïve little girl holding an lollypop， but a bird ready to fly， a teenager that will soon join the society。
I have grown up unwillingly。 It was fun to be a child， I miss my childhood。
When I was little， everyone in the family notices me。 I was the center of their world。 But ever since my baby cousin was born， he became the star。 My loving grandparents went to America to look after him， because my aunt was busy with her work。 When he had a fever， everybody was blue。 But when I had a fever， they were not as blue。 Sometimes I am jealous of him。 But strangely， when he was sick， I could not celebrate。 Instead， I was quite worried。 Even though he took my position away and I have never met him， but。。。but…I just could not hate him。 Because no matter what happens， he is still my cousin， I still love him。 Oh， I miss my childhood so much。
The day before yesterday， I chatted with one of my Swedish classmates， Jasmine。 I told her how much homework I had everyday。 Guess what she said! “ Phoebz， if I were you， I would not choose to be a Chinese in my afterlife。” But you can not choose what you want to be， can you? I was born in China， and I am Chinese， it can not be simpler。 Jasmine does not need to study for a living， but Chinese do。 Life is unfair， that is how it works。
I miss my childhood， when I was little， I did not have to think of all these stuff。 I was a cheerful person。 But now things changed。 I have to bear all the pressure。 The consequence is that I’ll become sad。 There is a song called: always look at the bright side of life! I guess it is time for me to face the fact， get used to the habit。
Yesterday， I got my test results。 I got such low a score of 82 points。 That was a great shock to me。 It is weird; I had good grades in primary school。 What is happening to me? I went home with Ann。 She got 75 points。 But she did not seem to be sad。 On the way I asked her why suddenly both of us got low scores。 She said it is natural。 Sanfan is a good middle school and in primary school we were good students but not the best。 So of course among all the golds， silver would not be as precious。
It was autumn， cold wind blew into my bones， it blew into my heart。 Drops of water fell on my hand。 It was raining， I thought。 Rain drops must have fallen into my eyes， because I can feel it wet。 Everything went blurry。 Some thing stuck in my throat， my lips trembled。 When I wiped the tear off my eyes and looked up at the sky， everything was clear; it did not rain after all。
I miss my childhood。 I miss the good mood。 I miss the happy faces。 I miss the lively little girl。 But everyone has to grow up。 When I went to school， I missed the life in preschool。 Now I am in middle school， I miss the life in primary school。 Maybe， I am someone who can never be satisfied。
Today， when I woke up， everything looked so nice。 The sun shines， it is a whole new day， and a whole new life。
标签: 长大
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